Anonymous asked: You are pretty. Would wife, move into a nice house together, have a couple of kids, go through bitter divorce, lose half my money, move into studio apartment, fap to memories of dem teddies. worth it.
I’d take more than just half your money… ;)
Sunday morning for Kate was full of bitter disappointment. Yet again she’d awoken with no recollection of the previous nights events & the taste of her last drink still fresh on her breath. However, this was not her biggest problem. She had awoken to find she’d lost something, something important, a part of herself… her iPhone.
Helpless & miserable she drove herself home & dove under the covers of her bed for comfort. Nothing could fill the void inside her now that her precious iPhone was gone. Nothing else could even come close. She switched on her laptop & broadcast her despair through various social networking websites & alerted her friends of the dilemma, while perusing eBay for a replacement handset. She checked her Twitter replies, & saw something of interest…
A feature on your iPhone that allows you to track is location? Surely this sort of technology is too good to be true, Kate thought to herself. Nevertheless, she alt-tabbed her way to Google & researched it herself. She discovered the iCloud website & briefly remembered installing something similar on her phone during a previous update. She logged in & saw the “Find my iPhone” feature. Curious, but also certain she had not enabled this feature on her phone herself, she clicked the link & was surprised to see a window pop up loading her current devices. A map appeared, a map of the city, a map of the city with a tiny green dot confirming the whereabouts of this device… Kate had miraculously located her iPhone.
Heart racing, she grabbed her keys, her mother’s phone & her laptop (I’m really not sure why she took that, but I’ll include it in the story anyway) & flew to her car. She began her quest to the city, staying a sneaky 4km/h above the speed limit while also catching every red light along the way. She didn’t let this dampen her spirits though, even if there was only a glimmer of hope that she could be reunited with her precious iPhone she was going to give it her best shot. She arrived in the city on the verge of a panic attack & realised there was nowhere in sight to stop her vehicle. Why had she not thought to bring someone with her who would jump out & rescue her poor stranded iPhone!? She circled the block, the streets were littered with cars & pedestrians. Her iPhone was only metres away… surely a passerby was about to notice it for themselves & steal her precious away, never to be seen again.
Just before completing a full lap of the block she noticed a small driveway located behind the Garden of Unearthly Delights. It was full of vehicles loading gear in & out, but she had to take the chance. She swerved in & practically dived out of the car door, while being approached by one of the workers of the event… he was young & somewhat attractive, Kate knew this would work in her favour.
“Sorry love, this space is reserved for participants of the event, you’ll need to move your car”, he started. Slightly discouraged but desperate for help, she briefly explained her dilemma. The worker then replied again re-enforcing that it was ‘strictly a loading zone’… Kate knew she couldn’t give up hope, not after she’d come so far already. She fluttered her eyelashes & threw in a throaty “…please?”. The worker smiled, “oh, go on then” he replied, as she sprinted off towards the location of her phone.
She spotted a bus stop & vaguely recalled catching a bus into the city the night before. She ran straight to it & searched the bench seat… there was nothing to be found. This wasn’t the way she pictured it to happen, it was supposed to be there waiting patiently for it’s loving & caring owner to return & rescue it! She pulled out her mother’s phone & dialled her own number…
*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
*bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
A strange buzzing noise coming from the ground caught her attention. She slowly crept around the bench seat & looked towards the direction that the noise was being projected from. It sounded like… no, it couldn’t be… it sounded like an iPhone vibrating against the hard ground. Her stomach jumped, her eyes lit up, she almost wept with joy… there it was. Her beloved iPhone nestled in the grass, covered in dirt, but otherwise in perfect working condition. She had done it, she had completed her mission & saved a life (her own, not the phone’s, clearly). She strolled back to her car beaming, thanked the young lad who assisted her & went & purchased a Frozen Coke in celebration. Her iPhone didn’t indulge in a frozen beverage though, because he was satisfied just knowing he’d been reuinted with extremely grateful owner (& also because it would’ve then become water-logged, making the entire adventure a little redundant).
THE END.
HOMEBOY
Dinner.
Cajun spiced chicken with a three bean mix, corn, cucumber, tomato & jalapeño salad. Aw yeah.
Today I made a bouquet of origami roses for a workmate to give to his girlfriend for Valentines Day. I’m pretty romantic, apparently haha.
GPOY.
I really wish people would stop animating inanimate objects because it’s honestly breaking my heart… :’(
(Source: meme4u)
My friends are all kinds of amazing :3
The Tin-Man had a good life.
(via jenngofett)
Everyone is reblogging that story about the guy who had his dog put down & ended up hating himself for it & committing suicide… & here’s me getting teary over a slightly animated washing machine.
:(
(Source: changetheworld-laugh, via the-absolute-best-gifs)
THE BIGGEST LOSER - AUSTRALIA
The 2012 season of Australia’s “The Biggest Loser” series has just started airing on television. Like every other twenty-something media-influenced female, I find this show to be a bit of a guilty pleasure & I enjoy watching severely overweight people crying on the treadmill while I lounge around on weeknights with a microwaved meal in hand. I’m really bad at keeping up with continuing episodes & I usually only see the first handful then pick it up again 3/4 of the way through the series when everyone is un-recognizable. I do, however, always make time for the finale episode where we get to see all of the contestants together again. The comparison photos are amazing but are usually ruined by the contestants themselves who awkwardly pretend to punch / kick / shoo them away. Still, I enjoy being part of the couch-warriors of Australia who clap & cheer everyone for their newly toned bodies, while seccretly wishing I had spent all the hours I wasted watching the actual show doing exercise myself.
This year, I have a rather-large-bone to pick with the Biggest Loser. It’s not necessarily with the concept behind the show… Although losing weight that rapidly & intensely over a short period of time isn’t the most healthy option for your body, I think it benefits the contestants much more than if they hadn’t done it at all. My bone-picking is with the marketing behind this series, mainly the tagline they’re using to promote it:
“Learn to love yourself”
On a whole, this is a very motivating & uplifting phrase to share… but it’s definitely not the message this show is promoting. I personally think that learning to love yourself means accepting who you are & what you look like currently & feeling confident about what you’ve already got… Not learning to love yourself by undergoing a complete image overhaul as the first part of this process. Like I said earlier, I think the show itself is a great way to promote a somewhat healthier lifestyle & encourage people to make better choices… but to promote that the only way you can be at peace with yourself is to lose weight? Not cool. Being overweight or obese is definitely a health issue, but I don’t see any reason why someone should be made to feel like they can’t love their body the way it is if that’s what they’re comfortable with.
#mytwocents
Adelaide 28/01/2012
Paper crane army.
I’m not usually one to reblog this sort of thing, but……. :O
(Source: solipsistxxx, via nicolettem)
This the giant KFC drumstick birthday cake we made for Jimmy. He always orders drumsticks & they always give him the wrong piece, so we made him his own! Haha.